One of the mysteries of life is that a two pound box of chocolates can make you gain five pounds.
The reason women over 50 don’t have babies is because we would put them down and forget where we put them.
It’s time to give up jogging for your health when your thighs keep rubbing together and starting your pants on fire.
What happens if you confuse your Valium with your birth control pills? You have 12 kids, but you don’t really care.
Skinny people bug me. They say things like, “Sometimes I forget to eat.” Now, I’ve forgotten my keys, my glasses, my address and my mother’s maiden name. But I have never forgotten to eat! You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!
What is the best way to forget your troubles? Wear tight clothes.
Why is it harder to lose weight as you get older? Because by that time your body and your fat have become really good friends.
My mind doesn’t wander, it leaves completely.
What happens when you leave an outfit hanging in your closet for a while? I shrinks two sizes.
It’s nice to live in a small town, because if you don’t know what you are doing, someone else does.
I read some article which said that the symptoms of stress are impulse buying, eating too much and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That’s what I call a perfect day.
He promised us that He would be a counselor
A Mighty God and the Prince of Peace
He promised us that He would be a Father
And that He would love us with a love that would not cease.
Well, I tried Him and I found His promises are true
He’s everything He said that He would be.
The finest words I know could not begin to tell
Just what Jesus really means to me.
For He’s more wonderful than my mind can concieve
He’s more wonderful than my heart can believe
He goes beyond my highest hopes and fondest dreams.
He’s everything that my soul ever longed for
Everything He’s promised and so much more
More than amazing, more than marvelous
More than miraculous could ever be
He’s more than wonderful, that’s what Jesus is to me.
I stand amazed when I think that the King of glory
Should come to dwell within the heart of man
I marvel just to know He really loves me
When I think of who He is, and who I am.
For He’s more wonderful than my mind can concieve
He’s more wonderful than my heart can believe
He goes beyond my highest hopes and fondest dreams.
He’s everything that my soul ever longed for
Everything He’s promised and so much more
More than amazing, more than marvelous,
More than miraculous could ever be
He’s more than wonderful, that’s what Jesus is to me.
I took this personality test – here are the results. I guess the fact that I’m an introvert acting kinda like an extravert explains some of my weirdness.
I actually find the descriptions of the different personality types very interesting.
ISTJs are responsible, loyal and hard working. They have an acute sense of right and wrong and work hard at preserving established norms and traditions. Because of their deep sense of duty they are dedicated to everything they do and are very dependable. ISTJs care deeply for those closest to them.
“ISTJs are very loyal, faithful, and dependable. They place great importance on honesty and integrity. They are “good citizens” who can be depended on to do the right thing for their families and communities. While they generally take things very seriously, they also usually have an offbeat sense of humor and can be a lot of fun – especially at family or work-related gatherings.”
