–If your sleeping habits are screwed up and you finally get to sleep about 5-6:00 am, there are not enough daylight hours left to enjoy after you wake up.

–If you go to McD’s and order two parfaits, and your change is $6.66, the middle-aged strong-accented gentlemen playing cashier will comment about it and insist on giving you $6.67 instead.

–If you accidentally make an itty bitty U-turn that probably was illegal, at the next main intersection you will have to sit and wait while four other drivers make great big illegal U-turns before you can turn.

–If you are driving the exact speed limit, you will be passed by the cop car in the next lane. Same cop car will then change lanes on busiest section of highway without giving a turn signal as is required by our state law.

–If you put your trash cart out the night before pickup and hibernate in the house the day the trash is actually picked up, you may have surprises waiting in your front yard the second day when you finally emerge.

–If you have a surprise in your front yard and don’t go outside for a day and a half, the neighbors and passerbys will have already have looked at said surprise for a day and a half.

–If, as an afterthought when taking out the trash, you grab a Sonic bag of trash from your vehicle and a filter which doesn’t fit your current heating unit and throw them “unbagged” on top of your trash bags, you will find a surprise on your lawn after the big truck machine automatically picks up your trash cart, raises it in the air and beats the tar out of it to make sure it’s empty.

–If you think your knees hurt when you walked out of the nice, warm house, think again. After bending and picking up the individual pieces of trash that used to be in the Sonic bag in the cold air, there will be real knee pain!

– – – –

Summation of today’s BIG lesson:

Putting unbagged trash in trash cart is the gift
that keeps on giving.

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