There once was a priest, a minister, and a rabbi fishing in a boat together.
One day, the priest said, “I’m thirsty,” and stepped out of the boat. He then walked on water and took a drink from a booth on the beach.
The next day, the minister said, “I’m thirsty,” and stepped out of the boat. He then walked on water and also took a drink from a booth on the beach.
On the third day, the rabbi said, “I’m thirsty”. But as soon as he stepped out of the boat, he drowned.
The minister looked at the priest and said, “Think we shoulda told him where the rocks were?”
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Two Christians have lived very good, and also very healthy lives. They die, and go to heaven.
As they are walking along, marvelling at the paradise around them, one turns to the other and says “Wow. I never knew heaven was going to be as good as this!”
“Yeah”, says the other. “And just think, if we hadn’t eaten all that oat bran we could have got here ten years sooner.”