Milt and Sam, two elderly friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels, and discuss world problems.
One day Milt didn’t show up.. Sam didn’t think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something. But after Milt hadn’t shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Sam didn’t know exactly where Milt lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.
A month passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Milt, but one day, Sam approached the park and — lo and behold! – there sat Milt! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then he said, ‘For crying out loud Milt, what in the world happened to you?’
Milt replied, ‘I’ve been in jail.’
‘Jail?’ cried Sam. ‘What in the world for?’
‘Well,’ Milt said, ‘You know Alexis, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?’
‘Yeah,’ said Sam, ‘I remember her. What about her?’
‘Well, one day she filed rape charges against me, and at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pled ‘guilty.’
‘The damn judge gave me 30 days for perjury.’