Friday Funnies is sponsored by Homesteader’s Heart.
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Someone’s Wise Sayings
- Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
- A penny saved is a government oversight.
- The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
- The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
- The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
- He who hesitates is probably right.
- Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are ” XL.”
- If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.
- If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
- The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
- There’s always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt.
- Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words “The” and “IRS” together it spells “Theirs?”
- Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
- The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
- Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
- When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
- You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
- One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
- When I’m feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor’s dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
- Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
- First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It’s worse when you forget to pull it down.
- Change is what happens when the pain of holding on becomes greater than the fear of letting go.
- Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it’s called golf.