FRIDAY FUNNIES: SOMEONE’S WISE SAYINGS

Friday Funnies is sponsored by Homesteader’s Heart.
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Someone’s Wise Sayings

• Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
• A penny saved is a government oversight.
• The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
• The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
• The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
• He who hesitates is probably right.
• Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are ” XL.”
• If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.
• If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
• The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
• There’s always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt.
• Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words “The” and “IRS” together it spells “Theirs?”
• Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
• The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
• Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
• When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
• You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
• One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
• When I’m feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor’s dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
• Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
• First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It’s worse when you forget to pull it down.
• Change is what happens when the pain of holding on becomes greater than the fear of letting go.
• Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it’s called golf.